Ryan.

I just found out that my old friend Ryan passed on this last weekend. He had been in the hospital for a week and died of severe pneumonia and sepsis. He was 25 years old.

I've known Ryan for 11 years now, since we were both shy 9th graders. The scrawny, hunched over haole girl alongside the Samoan-sized flip boy, that was us. He was a talented artist and cook, not to mention a kind person with a heart that matched his size. Although he had problems with depression, he always had jokes and laughter for his friends. Some of my fondest memories are of him, Jen, and myself just hanging out. Watching anime, playing video games, sitting in the courtyard at Campbell. I remember taking French and Japanese with him, studying together made them both so much easier for the both of us. I remember cooking with him, making garlic mashed potatoes. I even remember getting angry with him for having so little motivation for his art. But I laugh about it now. So many memories.

I'm crying because out there he's gone, but he's not gone inside me.